A Love Story and My Long Distance Dating Tips

Last Valentine’s day post, I promise but WARNING: this post may be full of mushy talk and lovey dovey details about the valentine in my life:)

Just saying…I warned you

First off for anyone who doesn’t know, this is Steve! The guy who was always behind the camera when I first started blogging and the one who has never left my side even when I embarrass him with posts like these;)

This weekend Steve and I are celebrating Valentine’s day and our 5 year anniversary (holy moly, can’t believe it’s already been 5 years), but see I told you I was corny. We started going out on Valentine’s day, but it was past midnight so we like to say our day is the 15th. A couple of cheese balls over here..but anyways.

Long story short, Steve and I met many years ago. We saw each other here and there throughout high school at friend’s houses or high school functions, but never talked much besides a “hi, bye”. Fast forward to freshman year of college when two of our best friends started dating and reintroduced us, we hit if off immediately.

Don’t worry it’s not all mushy, this part is actually quite humorous. We went on our first date in January and afterwards Steve asked me out. I impulsively said “yes” and then went home and impulsively sent him a text that read “Actually let’s wait, we’ve only been on one date”….who does that? and why did he even try for a second date? Well I’m happy he did because we went on our second date on Valentine’s day and afterwards I said “ok, two dates works for me”.

Many, many dates later and many miles traveled back and forth to see each other and we’re still together! While we dated apart in the beginning of our relationship, Steve later transferred to Mizzou to begin studying in a field that his prior college did not offer. It was so nice being able to spend my last two years of college together, until graduation approached and Steve found out he would be staying an extra two years due to credits not transferring.

When I started job hunting for after graduation I remember Steve saying “if you get a 9-5 job back in our hometown or here I would think you were delirious because I know you have bigger dreams than that”. These words let me know that no matter how far apart we were, as long as we were both chasing our dreams we would make it work!

That week after graduation Steve and I drove a uhaul to Chicago and moved me into my studio. Just Steve, a massive pullout sofa sleeper couch and my chicken arms moved me in. It was rough but made for some great memories. Including my uhaul getting towed…welcome to Chicago I guess.

Fast forward to today and Steve is finishing up his last semester at Mizzou and we are both traveling back and forth on our free weekends to see each other. Who knows maybe we’ll both be in the same city again soon…cough Chicago cough;)

WARNING EXTRA MUSHY, but this guy has been by my side through it all! He supported me when I moved away without having a clue what my next step would be and pushed me to not give up when I thought I was going to have to move back home. He laughs at my goofiness and compliments me when I’m wearing sweatpants and haven’t showered in days. He tags along on photo shoots with me and even let me pose him for this one;) He’s truly my better half! Here’s to 5 years of memories together and many more to come!

After years apart and a few years together, Steve and I have learned quite a bit about long distance dating. We’ve had our ups, downs and drop everything and drive 500 miles because we can’t stand being apart moments. I’m not saying we’ve mastered it, but after 5 years together I would say we’ve gotten pretty close.

8 Tips for Long Distance Dating

Trust each other
Itâ€™s hard to have a relationship from miles apart if you donâ€™t trust each other. Heck, itâ€™s hard to have a relationship in general if you donâ€™t trust each other. However, in long distance itâ€™s ok to worry about their safety and well being, but if you find yourself constantly worrying about what theyâ€™re doing or who they are with, it may be a good time to sit down and talk about how you can learn to better trust each other.

Be Old Fashioned
Who needs to send a stamped letter when you can send an e-mail? You guessed it, you do. Although e-mails and texts are easier and much faster to send, a stamped letter in the mail can go a long way with a loved one. Everyone loves opening their mailboxes to something besides bills every month and knowing that the other person took the time to sit down and send a card really means a lot.

Set time aside for a Skype date
When you are always on the go and traveling, itâ€™s easy to push the skype date you had planned back later and later until you end up just skipping it. Itâ€™s important to remember to treat a skype date like any other date. If you were both in the same city and had planned to grab dinner together you wouldnâ€™t keep pushing that back, so you have to think of a skype date in the same way. Skype dates can be such a fun way to reconnect and feel like you are actually together. A few of my favorites are a Top Chef themed night. Both of you decide on 3 or 4 ingredients that you will have to use while cooking dinner that night and then skype while cooking your delicious meals. Since you canâ€™t taste the other personâ€™s dish, the winner is the one with the more creative dish that you would want to try again when you are together. Another favorite is popcorn and a movie night. Grab a bowl of popcorn and pick a movie on hulu to watch together. Be sure to start it at the same time or there may be a spoiler alert. Finally, a classic game of Mad Libs always makes for a fun skype date. Print out a few Mad Libs from online and play a few round while skyping.

Focus on the positive
Try to focus on the positive things. Sometimes when you are long distance you find yourself getting mad at the other person for the smallest things, because deep down youâ€™re just mad you canâ€™t see them. When you find this happening, step away from the situation and think it through to find out if there is really an issue or if the underlying problem is being apart.
Take time to yourselves
If this is a person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, then enjoy this time to focus on yourself and your goals before that next step together. Pick up a new hobby or enjoy time with the girls.

Talk it out
Itâ€™s important in every relationship to talk things out, but when you are long distance and donâ€™t see each other everyday itâ€™s vital to maintaining the relationship. If you find yourself in a disagreement, make sure to talk it out and end the talk with how you will move forward. It is much easier to ignore each other when apart, so agreeing on the next step is key.

Be there for each other
Although you canâ€™t be there for each other physically, you can always be there for each other emotionally. If you find that one person is really stressed about an upcoming project or event in their life, itâ€™s nice to send some words of encouragement to let them know you are thinking about them. Take a screen shot of a quote you find a pinterest to send to them or leave them a voicemail so they can hear your voice when they get a break. If you know they are really busy, call a local restaurant near them and have food delivered. This may allow a little time to talk when they break instead of spending it cooking.

Savor the time together
Youâ€™ve been counting down and the time is finally here for you to see each other! Savor these moments by putting the electronics down and distractions aside. The times you are together may be few and rare, so be sure to make the most of them.