Let’s talk cohabitating. (Do people even still use that word or am I sounding like a total grandma right now?)
Cohabitating- that funny word that means living with your loved one before marriage. That word that grandmas and grandpas shake their heads at when you tell them you’re doing it and that word that lets people assume things without knowing.
Yup, that sneaky, judgey little word.
I personally was never a fan of cohabitating. I grew up in a catholic bubble with the thought that you go to college, get a job, get married, move in together and then have kids. But guess what? Life happens and sometimes not in that order. Some people don’t go to college, some have kids before moving in together and some move in together before getting married. Yup, I’m living outside the bubble and moved in with Steve before marriage.
Since Steve landed a job in the city last summer and my lease was ending in August, we looked into each getting our own place and financially it just didn’t make sense (if you live in Chicago, you can probably relate). So we crashed in my little studio for 2 months until my lease was up (talk about living together in a shoebox…ay yi yi) and got a place together last August.
I would say we’ve had our ups and downs and nights out on the couch but then I’d be lying. By all means it’s not rainbows and butterflies, especially when you are up until 2am trying to put your ikea furniture together and are almost finished when you realize the first piece of wood is on backwards so the whole thing needs to come apart..yup, I’m sure you can relate. But in all honesty, moving in together has been the best decision we’ve ever made (well, besides getting Rosie that is;)).
Even after having dated for over 6 years, there are still so many things you can learn about a person when you live together. You become part of each other’s daily routines, pick up on each other’s eating and cleaning habits and if your man is a total movie junkie like mine then you even pick up on their movie quoting habits too.
Let me tell ya, if Steve could get a job quoting movies for a living then we’d be millionaires by now.
But millionaires or not, we’ve had one incredible year together and I’m sharing my top tips for moving in with your significant other.
1. Keep Your Own Routine.
Steve and I do pretty much everything together but the one thing we keep our own is our daily routines. I’m more of night owl who sleeps in a little later and Steve is more of an early to bed early to rise guy. When you live with someone you’ll find that you tend to mesh your day-to-day activities together so keeping your own personal routines is key to creating your own space and “me” time to get things done.
2. Create a Communal Calendar.
Between my work and blogging events, Steve’s hockey and soccer games and nights with friends, we’re always on the go and trying to remember each other’s schedule can be tough. I’ve found that it’s best to keep a communal calendar that both of you have access to or have hanging in your apartment to let each other know where they are so you can see if they’ll be home for dinner, if they need a ride, etc.
3. Schedule Time Out Together.
When living with someone and seeing them everyday, sometimes it’s hard to remember to put time aside for date night or time together besides your weekly nights on the couch or running errands. Schedule a night (as many times that fits with your schedule) and put it on the calendar so you both make sure to reserve that night to take a break from the day-to-day and enjoy a special night together.
4. Take Turns.
Just like mom and dad teach you when growing up, life is all about taking turns. Especially when living with someone. There is always things to do; errands to be run, trash to be taken out, floors to be vacuumed, dishes to be put away, etc. so splitting up these tasks is the biggest way to avoid unnecessary fights. Whether you do them together or take turns each night, make sure both people are pulling their weight so one person doesn’t feel dumped with all the to-dos.
5. Start and End with “I Love You”.
Call us corny but when you see someone every night when going to bed and every morning when first waking up, sometimes the simple reminders tend to get lost in the day-to-day mix. Be sure that you remind your loved one everyday (more than once a day never hurts too) that you love them.
Have you recently moved in with a loved one or are thinking about it? What are your top tips for keeping a healthy and happy relationship at home?